Kryptonite
by Pelman
Summary: Abby stood there, amidst the smell of sawdust and sadness, and wished desperately to hear Gibbs say one thing... A "Borderland" episode tag.


**Kryptonite**

She stood in the middle of the basement, watching as Gibbs rubbed his hand wearily across his forehead. The simple action broke her. It stopped her angry accusations, stopped her panicked scrutiny, stopped her scared and hurting words that overflowed from the icy pit nestled in her stomach, the one that had been there ever since she first laid eyes on the old NIS case file.

She was so tired.

And she found her hurt and her fear draining away with her strength, until all that was left was a quiet anguish. And in the silence, she said the only words she had left. "You have no idea how much I wish it was yesterday." She didn't have the strength to say anything else. Didn't want to say anything else. Knew that this was something words couldn't fix, that nothing could fix, unless… "Maybe if I could just close my eyes and open them again and…it will be…" As her words trailed off she clenched her eyes shut and clasped her hands to her heart, wishing desperately to be in another time, another place, another moment. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but now.

* * *

_She is running after Gibbs, hopping over the equipment used to examine the underside of Colonel Ryan's vehicle. "Uh, Gibbs…" she calls out, and he partially turns, his strides still carrying him away from her._

"_Hmm?"_

"_Actually…we asked you to come down here for another reason." She waits, unexpectedly nervous, as Tony and Kate step out from the shadows. She knows how Gibbs feels about this. Knows he tries to clean up his own messes, fix his own problems. Knows he feels that to do otherwise is a weakness, a burden, a failure. He's a lone wolf. _

_But now he has a pack._

_She watches as Tony and Kate confront Gibbs. Kate's words are matter of fact, the former Secret Service agent realizing the last thing Gibbs wants is for them to make a fuss. "Look, we understand the situation and we just want to help."_ _So earnest, so honest. If anyone can make Gibbs feel comfortable with the situation, it's Kate._

_Or Tony. Because Tony gets Gibbs, understands him, and his words reflect his absolute trust in the man. "We can't back your play if we don't know what it is." He's serious for once. They all are. And under the gaze of three worried NCIS agents, being confronted with keeping secrets, arranging clandestine meetings, obstructing the investigation, Gibbs…starts blathering on about his cell phone. And Abby smiles, because she knows everything is going to be okay. _

_When he finally caves, throwing a defiant look on his face that dares any of them to say anything, he asks Abby to take a look at the tape Colonel Ryan gave him. She gives him a big smile, trying to throw all her love, all her trust, all her understanding into it, and speaks from the heart. "All you had to do was ask, Gibbs."_

_He answers, his voice strangely subdued. "Okay…okay, I will try to remember that for next time." _

_And then he leaves._

_

* * *

_

Abby stood in the basement, eyes still tightly shut, and wondered if Gibbs was going to leave now. But her mind couldn't bear to think that, had already been drowning beneath an ever progressing series of horrible thoughts for hours, and so she turned back to happier times.

_

* * *

_

She is watching the man on the computer screen and she can't even begin to imagine how he must be feeling, with his wife and daughter held hostage as he sits trapped in his office. But she isn't afraid, not for any of them, because Gibbs is here, and he tells the man, his voice full of steel, "You are not alone, Captain. We're gonna get through this together."

_Together._

_Abby has absolute faith in Gibbs, but inside she is bouncing with nervous energy. She knows how important this case is, knows how Gibbs gets when kids are involved. So she quickly hardwires the video feed to MTAC and waits eagerly for her next task. But then Gibbs asks a question that she's been dreading. _

"_Get inside his computer yet?"_

"_Oh, um…" She finds she can't meet his eyes. Can't bear to disappoint the one man who's never disappointed her. "I think, um…"_

"_Need help," he says wryly, and she realizes she should know better by now then to try to hide anything from him. They read each other like open books. Gibbs shifts his weight and continues speaking, his gentle words removing the sting from her failure. "All you had to do was ask." He leans forward, weighing his words carefully. "One of the smartest people I know told me that once."_

_This grabs her attention. Gibbs doesn't hold much for smarts. He prefers grit and determination and gut. "Who?" she asks, lifting her head up._

_He leans even closer, and his eyes pierce her soul. "You."_

_She could live with moments like these forever._

_

* * *

_

Abby opened her eyes and looked over at Gibbs, her memory popping like a bubble. Times like those…they were the best. The very best. But memories don't last forever, and neither do friendships. And as she stood there, amidst the smell of sawdust and sadness, she realized she was waiting to hear Gibbs say one thing. One thing only. From the man who spoke so little, she only wanted five little words.

_Abs…I need your help._

It would kill her, to help him. Would go against everything she had ever believed in, fought for, worked so hard to achieve. Would strip her foundation away until she slowly crumbled and was left bereft. But she would do it.

Because it was Gibbs.

But she knew, as she stood there and watched Gibbs give her a small, wistful smile before looking at the floor, that the very reason she would do anything for him, for the man she loved like a father, was also the very reason why she knew…

He would never ask.

* * *

**A/N: **_Man, that scene at the end of Borderland killed me. This is just a small thought I had while watching it, because I thought about what would have happened if Gibbs had asked Abby to cover up for him. And then I realized he never would, but if he did Abby would probably do it. And then I thought of the scenes from Seasons 1 and 2 where Abby and Gibbs have their little exchanges about asking for help. And this is the result! _


End file.
